Near Death Experience

Just now, when I went to go get my morning cop of joe, I almost got hit by a car. I was walking in-between two parked cars when one of them started to back-up. It stopped about six inches from crushing my legs. The incident reminded me of the time I almost killed three people while driving in Tennessee.

But more about that later. Here’s something that’s been flipping my noodle lately: Whenever I clean my apartment, how come it seems that a solid 80% of the hair on the floor is pubie hair? So many short and curlies, so few long and straights. The sheer amount of S&Cs is strange to me. You’d think MPB (male pubic baldness) would be an issue, but no — the boosh is as lush as ever. I don’t understand it. But if scientists could harness the hairy power of Talvid’s nether regions, could they cure baldness? Alopecia? The possibilities are endless.

Just for reference sake, here are some people who I’ve been told I look like:

And this dude:

I get these fellas sometimes:

Him too:

And last:

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