Make the Check Out to Cash

Among other industries, Advertising often looks to Talvid for advice. So here’s an idea Advertising can try out next time it’s working with a fashion company that makes winter coats.

Let’s say the client, or, “account” is Benetton or something. You get them to whip up like 1000 fucking badass winter coats. Really bright, vibrant colors, but with no identifying markers — no logos, no slogans, no “branding.” Then you give those fuckers to homeless people. Hobos are scavengers, and will take that shit for sure.

What happens next? The virus spreads. People will be walking around, going about their business, and see all the hobos wearing these fine, fresh winter coats and be all like, “How’d all these no-hopers get such cool shit? And where can I get one?”

It’s not just normals that’ll notice — journos will too. Who is behind the winter coats? Is it charity? Is it a gang costume? The mystery will deepen. Hysteria will build.

Eventually, somehow, someway, the secret will get out. The fancy clothing company was behind it. Story’s over.

N’uh uh. It’s just beginning. People will think about what’s happened. They’ll be confused. Was it charity? Was it advertising? Then, some hothead will put it together that human beings — and that term is used loosely vis a vis primo facto hobos — were being used as billboards. Other people will pick up on that idea. A debate will ensue. Is it okay to use humans as unwitting advertisements if the product they’re advertising is beneficial to them. Edgy, provocative stuff.

This strategy is good for at least four days of publicity.

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