Starfucking 6: Too Soon

It has happened again. I’ve killed a man.

But this time, it’s not mega-uber star, ‘Eet Leeadgah. It’s the mildly disgraced, Corey Whittaker Haim. Typically, when I off a celeb, it takes about eight years for the murder to progress; from look—————–8 years—————–kill.

This time it only took a frightening three and half months to done the deedle. You see, if you read this ferkakte blog, you’ll remember that on December 1st, 2009, Corey Velociraptor Haim was suggested as a friend on my ye olde Fatchbook. Course I got better things to do, and cooler people to friend request than this washed-up hasbro. My facebook friend list rocks the likes of Corey Feldman, Ronny James Dio, my third cousin Avi, etc. Here’s my guess as to how it happened. Approximo 4 months ago, facebook shoots Coreynation an email. The email contains a picture of my Dorian Gray like punim. As a joke, my profile says I’m 38. The same age as Coraline. Corky, gets all freaked out, wondering how I’m looking fine as fuck for a boychick of my age. Truthbomb: it’s a mix of genetics, shitake mushroom tea, and jerking off with a half-sleeping hand (the stranger). Time flies by, it’s mid March, and Cordon Bleu finally bites it. Another man, dead from a broken, unfixable heart.

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3 Responses to “Starfucking 6: Too Soon”

  1. H-bomb Says:

    “truthbomb” is my word, word stealer.

  2. talvid Says:

    No kidding.

  3. H-bomb Says:

    respect.

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