5 Steps To The Ideal Labour Day Weekend

Tom Cochrane

Tom Cochrane

This upcoming weekend, we celebrate the May 2-4 Labour Day weekend. Everyone’s always asking Talvid, “hey mun, how do you do it up big on a long weekend?”. Naturally I just do a Steve Austin style point-at-my-crotch and keep walking. But because you didn’t ask, I’m a tell you how to bro out big-time come LD (Labour Day, not Long Dick- you dog, you).

1. Get a 2-4 of Smirnoff Ice. {Smacks you in the pecker}. Bro, if you actually just went out and bought that; stop reading, you’re not worthy of my advice. A 2-4 of Molson Wildcat will do just fine.
2. Get the entire Rush Box Set. Only play YYZ, the rest is pretty shit.
3. Repeat step #2.
4. Go to the Hooters in Barrie. For Barrie, it’s a classy joint. If I had to compare it to something in Toronto, I’d compare it to Hooters.
5. One word: Wasaga Beach. Wasaga Beach is where you go if you want the first 4 steps wrapped in one sandy, whale-tailed, STD-ridden pig in a blanket.

And hey, if these steps didn’t work out and your weekend was a big old waste, blame yourself. It’s your fault you’re not Talvid.


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